Bedrotting? Or duvet days?

Sometimes, we may find ourselves stuck in bed. Lately it’s been called bedrotting - capturing the judgment that we are ‘rotting away’ in bed. But I find this comes from a place of criticism, and it can stop us moving forward. I prefer to call them ‘duvet days’, to reframe the behaviour, and understand ourselves better. So what can we do about it? 

🔁 Negative loops

Duvet days can feel like a negative loop - the longer we are in bed, the harsher we are to ourselves. Over time, we can experience feelings of low self esteem, worthlessness and helplessness. And at the end of the day, we feel terrible for ‘wasting’ the day.

🌟 How to unlock your duvet day

🥲 Accept that this is where you're at today.

If beating ourselves up worked, it would have worked by now. By accepting where we are, we shift our focus to kindness and understanding. Treat yourself like a friend - tell them you’re sorry they’re feeling so stuck today.

🤔 Understand what need this duvet day is meeting.

Overwhelmingly, the source is anxiety about our life. We might be worried about a piece of work, we might be stressed about how to get ourselves out of debt. Or it might be that everything is creating anxiety, and we feel like we can’t handle it all. Notice what’s happening for you. You need something - what is it? Rest? Play? To feel feelings? A brief respite?

🥰 Meet this need

Allow yourself rest, play or other rejuvenating activities. You might be thinking, ‘I don’t have time for that! I should be up and getting back to work!’ But if you’re stuck there anyway, why not spend half an hour focusing on this unmet need - and see what happens? 

Think of ways to meet this need - social media scrolling is unlikely to meet it. So watch a joyful TV show, listen to music you love, put on an audiobook, Ted Talk or podcast. Give yourself space away from what you’re worried about, and pour lots of good energy into yourself.

⏰ Check in after half an hour

How do you feel now? Would you be able to get up and try something different, to shift your energy? If not, do another half hour of taking care of your needs.

☹️ Acknowledge that there’s something happening for you.

If you’re having a few duvet days lately, maybe you’re burnt out - perhaps there’s something that needs to be changed. Life choices, people we let into our world, overstretching ourselves repeatedly - have a think about everything going on for you, and see what would be helpful for you to step back from. 

💡 If you find yourself struggling with duvet days, burnout, or low mood, maybe I could help. I’m a therapist, and I can help you unpack what’s happening for you, look at patterns you’re struggling with, and consider what would be helpful for you at this time. I offer a free 15 minute chat so you can get to know me and talk about what's happening for you. For more info, you can find me at cosytherapy.com

✨Warmth and wishes,✨

April

Cosy Therapy