Expanding your comfort zone

When I think about ‘getting outside of my comfort zone’, I feel afraid. Doing things that I’ve not done before? Risking making mistakes? Feeling nervous, uncertain, worried? Doing something lowkey cringe? No thank you. And yet I wouldn’t be here without expanding that comfort zone. So let’s talk about it.

We’ve all heard of the comfort zone: familiar, easy. It can be a great thing to be working within our comfort zone, feeling like we’re on top of our game in work or family life. But what if we realise that our comfort zone has become too small? What if there’s something we want from our life - something small, or something big - that currently feels like it’s so far outside our comfort zone, that it’s scary?

When our comfort zone is small, we find ourselves stuck. Fear keeps us feeling trapped, and prevents us from living a full and expansive life - if we let it.

I’ve started taking a new approach to the comfort zone: expanding it. It’s not something wild that I’m doing. I’m not taking a leap out into the cold and finding myself lost and alone on the moors. But I am walking quietly out of my old comfort zone, finding what’s just outside, and learning how to be comfortable there. 

When we do something new even while we are uncomfortable, we expand what’s comfortable for us, and we learn that we are safe to do it. Over time, we feel more and more safe. We get used to it, and it becomes our new comfort zone. 

So here’s my favourite ways to expand your comfort zone - to wherever you need it to be.

Making one small step, in ANY direction:

Wanting to learn guitar? There are so many first steps you could take, so choose one that feels doable: you could contact a tutor, sure, but you can also go to a guitar shop and just look at what’s available, or simply watch a video - it can be that small. Expanding your comfort zone could be as simple as gaining a bit more knowledge in the area, feeling steady in your early understanding of the project.

Speak your dreams out loud:

I’ve found that speaking about my dreams - to the right people! - has brought me a lot of knowledge and assistance. People are excited to help me realise what I want - whether it’s learning drag performance, finding a room for a group I’m creating, or finding a speaking gig. It’s amazing who and what people know about the area in which we are looking to grow, and they want to help us get there.

Not everyone is receptive to our dreams, but you might have a good idea by now about who’s going to shut you down, and who’s going to be curious and helpful. And if you don’t have the right people right now - perhaps you could expand into new groups, classes or networking, to find the right people for you.

Scribble one tiniest step on a Post-It, and slap it on the wall

You’ll see it when you wake up, so make it a goal to complete that one step by the time you go to sleep. Make it a tiny, tiny step - it makes you more likely to do it. And it might not feel like much, but if you do this every day for a month? You’ll be well on your way to where you want to be!

So whether it’s writing fifty words for a book, playing for two minutes on a violin, sending one email to an agent - get it stuck up somewhere, get it done, and at the end of the day move it to a different wall to celebrate your success. Watch those sticky notes accumulate over time, and realise how far you’ve expanded that comfort zone.

Final thoughts: the comfort zone is great! But don’t let it keep you missing out on things you really want from your life. Once we accept that we will have to do it afraid, the whole world opens up to us. It’s all out there waiting for you, and it might not be as uncomfortable as you think!

If you’re feeling stuck, holding yourself back, or looking to expand your comfort zone, maybe I could help. I’m a therapist, and I can help you work on habits and mindsets to get you moving forward. I offer a free 15 minute intro chat, where you can figure out if I’m the right person for you. Learn more and book online at cosytherapy.com

Warmth and wishes

April 

Cosy Therapy